Life At Kong
by Noodle G. Stefani
Summary: You may know that Murdoc is a total duchebag of a jailbird, and that Russel has no true capacity to hate others, and that Stuart "2D" is totally clueless and remembers nothing but also loves zombies and fears whales. These things are true, and living with them has its ups and downs, this is what living at the HQ with those guys is like.
1. Noodle

**Noodle**

You may know that Murdoc is a total duchebag of a jailbird, and that Russel has no true capacity to hate others, and that Stuart "2D" is totally clueless and remembers nothing but also loves zombies and fears whales. These things are true, and living with them has its ups and downs, this is what living at the HQ with those guys is like.

So I woke up this morning, fairy early for me. I was up before anyone else I assumed, so I pulled out my acoustic guitar and started working on my guitar part for a new song. Then I got up, let out Mike, and fed him. He ran around my room for a little bit while I kept working, then he jumped on my bed and curled up next to me wrapping his monkey tail around my waist. Then after about 5 minutes, I got up. Mike had now wrapped himself entirely around my middle, making it kind of hard to walk. I somehow made it to the door, and walked down to the kitchen/living room. To my surprise, I wasn't the only and 1st one awake. Stu was sitting on the couch staring at a blank TV. I let Mike down, and then said "Hey Stu-San". Sometimes I call him Stu, sometimes Stuart, sometimes Stu-Pot, and sometimes 2D. He and I are so close that I'm the only one who can call him anything but 2D. He said "Morn'in Noods, and Mike I see. I'm so 'appy we've found 'em 'n tha Murdoc let us keep 'em". I said "I know, 2D-San, he's so cute isn't he and I'm rarely ever bored with him. It's AWESOME!" Then I asked what we had for breakfast, and why Stu was staring at a blank TV? He replied with "I fink we 'ave some cereal 'an some Eggo's maybe. Russ 'll 'ave ta go ta the store soon 'an buy us some more stuff. 'An I dunno, I meant ta turn on the tele, but I just sorta got sidetracked in mu thoughts 'an I just zoned out I guess." I said "Okay", then I poured a bowl of cereal and plopped down next to Stu on the couch while grabbing the remote and turning on Pokémon. Then after I had finished eating, Stu pointed out that Mike wasn't with us. He rarely leaves my sight to go wandering. Then we both looked at each other and said "Sh-t, you don't think, oh, sh-t, no!" We both started running towards the car park and Murdoc's Winnebago. All the way there mumbling "Oh sh-t, oh sh-t, oh sh-t!" Then as we were half way there, all of "Kong" resonated with a "What the bloody Hell is Noodle's f-ing monkey doing in my f-ing Winne!" Then a "Noodle, get yer bloody f-ing monkey out of my Winne right now, or I'll kill you!" Then a "Noodle!" I ran as fast as I could towards Murdoc's Winne. When I got there, I said "Hello and good morning Murdoc-San", in my perkiest voice. He handed Mike over to me and told me to "Never let the bloody thing near my Winne ever again!" I said "Okay" and started to leave. Just as I reached the door, Russel walked in. He was wearing his PJ's and scratching his head, saying "What's with all the commotion and what the Hell happened this morning!?" Stu and I tried to explain but Murdoc kept interrupting with his side of the story. Then once we were finished, Russ just said "Okay, let me get this straight: Mike was with Noodle and 'D watching Pokémon while they ate breakfast. Then he left and 'D noticed, so they came running here. Then Murds started yelling at them and Mike to get him out of the Winne and to never let him near it ever again. Then I showed up, and that's all?" "Yep" was the only answer Murdoc could give, then Stu and I just had these huge awkward grins on our faces and we started to awkwardly laugh. Russ said "Okay, I'll be downstairs eating my breakfast if anyone needs me." Murdoc said "You know where to find me, I'll be in asleep in the Winne catching up on all the lost sleep that bloody f-ing monkey caused me to lose. Please try to be quiet all of ya or I'll kill every single one of ya!" Then he slammed the Winne's door, and Stu, Mike, Russ, and I all went back downstairs. After that, the morning was quite peaceful. Murds got up at 12:00 and we all had lunch, but he made me put Mike in his cage while we ate. He claimed that Mike was going to ruin his meal because he had ruined his morning! After lunch, Damon and Jamie came over to work on some stuff for our new album. Jamie had some great ideas for some music videos, and Damon thought that he should do a duet with Stu because he thought their voices being so similar would work well together. He also thought that I should also sing with him and Stu (on a different song) because our voices are both so unique and different that it would sound cool. We all agreed, then we all realized that _Blur_ and the Gorillaz was huge! Then all of us sat down for dinner at the table, something we did but not pleasantly, and we never fought once! Murds kept eyeing Stu and trying to do his usually harsh routine on Stu, but Jamie and Damon just kept eyeing him to stop. Then after dinner we all played videogames. Then Damon and Jamie went home. A few weeks later, I wanted to take Mike out for a walk and go shopping. Murdoc wouldn't let me. I was yelling because he wouldn't let me go, and he was yelling at me saying "Ya don need ta buy any more clothes, ya 'ave too many now. And takin' Mike 'll be a hassle, NO WAY, NOT EVER, NO!" Then I yelled this "I'm going out and taking Mike, and you can't stop me! You sick, twisted, gross, demonic, Satanist, drunk, bastard, A—hole!" Then he said "No, ya can't go!" Then I grabbed Mike and stormed up to my room, and slammed the door. After about two minutes, Stu came in and plopped down on my bed right next to me. He said "I heard you and Murds fight, sorry he won let ya go. What a ya say, we head out to the geep with Mike and without Murds knowing. We can go to all ya favorite shops if ya want." I agreed, and we headed out. When we got back, we were laughing and carrying like 20 large bags from all of my favorite stores. Mike had one from the pet store wrapped around his tail, and Stu had one from his favorite store. Murdoc heard us come in, and then he saw us. Then Mike and I were running with all my bags towards to my room. Then I heard a loud slap/punch/knock upside the head.


	2. Stuart

**Stuart**

I woke up sprawled out on the concrete floor of the car park. I could barely get up, and upon feeling my head, I realized that it was sore and had a huge bump on it!


	3. Murdoc

**Noodle**

You may know that Murdoc is a total duchebag of a jailbird, and that Russel has no true capacity to hate others, and that Stuart "2D" is totally clueless and remembers nothing but also loves zombies and fears whales. These things are true, and living with them has its ups and downs, this is what living at the HQ with those guys is like.

So I woke up this morning, fairy early for me. I was up before anyone else I assumed, so I pulled out my acoustic guitar and started working on my guitar part for a new song. Then I got up, let out Mike, and fed him. He ran around my room for a little bit while I kept working, then he jumped on my bed and curled up next to me wrapping his monkey tail around my waist. Then after about 5 minutes, I got up. Mike had now wrapped himself entirely around my middle, making it kind of hard to walk. I somehow made it to the door, and walked down to the kitchen/living room. To my surprise, I wasn't the only and 1st one awake. Stu was sitting on the couch staring at a blank TV. I let Mike down, and then said "Hey Stu-San". Sometimes I call him Stu, sometimes Stuart, sometimes Stu-Pot, and sometimes 2D. He and I are so close that I'm the only one who can call him anything but 2D. He said "Morn'in Noods, and Mike I see. I'm so 'appy we've found 'em 'n tha Murdoc let us keep 'em". I said "I know, 2D-San, he's so cute isn't he and I'm rarely ever bored with him. It's AWESOME!" Then I asked what we had for breakfast, and why Stu was staring at a blank TV? He replied with "I fink we 'ave some cereal 'an some Eggo's maybe. Russ 'll 'ave ta go ta the store soon 'an buy us some more stuff. 'An I dunno, I meant ta turn on the tele, but I just sorta got sidetracked in mu thoughts 'an I just zoned out I guess." I said "Okay", then I poured a bowl of cereal and plopped down next to Stu on the couch while grabbing the remote and turning on Pokémon. Then after I had finished eating, Stu pointed out that Mike wasn't with us. He rarely leaves my sight to go wandering. Then we both looked at each other and said "Sh-t, you don't think, oh, sh-t, no!" We both started running towards the car park and Murdoc's Winnebago. All the way there mumbling "Oh sh-t, oh sh-t, oh sh-t!" Then as we were half way there, all of "Kong" resonated with a "What the bloody Hell is Noodle's f-ing monkey doing in my f-ing Winne!" Then a "Noodle, get yer bloody f-ing monkey out of my Winne right now, or I'll kill you!" Then a "Noodle!" I ran as fast as I could towards Murdoc's Winne. When I got there, I said "Hello and good morning Murdoc-San", in my perkiest voice. He handed Mike over to me and told me to "Never let the bloody thing near my Winne ever again!" I said "Okay" and started to leave. Just as I reached the door, Russel walked in. He was wearing his PJ's and scratching his head, saying "What's with all the commotion and what the Hell happened this morning!?" Stu and I tried to explain but Murdoc kept interrupting with his side of the story. Then once we were finished, Russ just said "Okay, let me get this straight: Mike was with Noodle and 'D watching Pokémon while they ate breakfast. Then he left and 'D noticed, so they came running here. Then Murds started yelling at them and Mike to get him out of the Winne and to never let him near it ever again. Then I showed up, and that's all?" "Yep" was the only answer Murdoc could give, then Stu and I just had these huge awkward grins on our faces and we started to awkwardly laugh. Russ said "Okay, I'll be downstairs eating my breakfast if anyone needs me." Murdoc said "You know where to find me, I'll be in asleep in the Winne catching up on all the lost sleep that bloody f-ing monkey caused me to lose. Please try to be quiet all of ya or I'll kill every single one of ya!" Then he slammed the Winne's door, and Stu, Mike, Russ, and I all went back downstairs. After that, the morning was quite peaceful. Murds got up at 12:00 and we all had lunch, but he made me put Mike in his cage while we ate. He claimed that Mike was going to ruin his meal because he had ruined his morning! After lunch, Damon and Jamie came over to work on some stuff for our new album. Jamie had some great ideas for some music videos, and Damon thought that he should do a duet with Stu because he thought their voices being so similar would work well together. He also thought that I should also sing with him and Stu (on a different song) because our voices are both so unique and different that it would sound cool. We all agreed, then we all realized that _Blur_ and the Gorillaz was huge! Then all of us sat down for dinner at the table, something we did but not pleasantly, and we never fought once! Murds kept eyeing Stu and trying to do his usually harsh routine on Stu, but Jamie and Damon just kept eyeing him to stop. Then after dinner we all played videogames. Then Damon and Jamie went home. A few weeks later, I wanted to take Mike out for a walk and go shopping. Murdoc wouldn't let me. I was yelling because he wouldn't let me go, and he was yelling at me saying "Ya don need ta buy any more clothes, ya 'ave too many now. And takin' Mike 'll be a hassle, NO WAY, NOT EVER, NO!" Then I yelled this "I'm going out and taking Mike, and you can't stop me! You sick, twisted, gross, demonic, Satanist, drunk, bastard, A—hole!" Then he said "No, ya can't go!" Then I grabbed Mike and stormed up to my room, and slammed the door. After about two minutes, Stu came in and plopped down on my bed right next to me. He said "I heard you and Murds fight, sorry he won let ya go. What a ya say, we head out to the geep with Mike and without Murds knowing. We can go to all ya favorite shops if ya want." I agreed, and we headed out. When we got back, we were laughing and carrying like 20 large bags from all of my favorite stores. Mike had one from the pet store wrapped around his tail, and Stu had one from his favorite store. Murdoc heard us come in, and then he saw us. Then Mike and I were running with all my bags towards to my room. Then I heard a loud slap/punch/knock upside the head.


	4. Russel

**Noodle**

You may know that Murdoc is a total duchebag of a jailbird, and that Russel has no true capacity to hate others, and that Stuart "2D" is totally clueless and remembers nothing but also loves zombies and fears whales. These things are true, and living with them has its ups and downs, this is what living at the HQ with those guys is like.

So I woke up this morning, fairy early for me. I was up before anyone else I assumed, so I pulled out my acoustic guitar and started working on my guitar part for a new song. Then I got up, let out Mike, and fed him. He ran around my room for a little bit while I kept working, then he jumped on my bed and curled up next to me wrapping his monkey tail around my waist. Then after about 5 minutes, I got up. Mike had now wrapped himself entirely around my middle, making it kind of hard to walk. I somehow made it to the door, and walked down to the kitchen/living room. To my surprise, I wasn't the only and 1st one awake. Stu was sitting on the couch staring at a blank TV. I let Mike down, and then said "Hey Stu-San". Sometimes I call him Stu, sometimes Stuart, sometimes Stu-Pot, and sometimes 2D. He and I are so close that I'm the only one who can call him anything but 2D. He said "Morn'in Noods, and Mike I see. I'm so 'appy we've found 'em 'n tha Murdoc let us keep 'em". I said "I know, 2D-San, he's so cute isn't he and I'm rarely ever bored with him. It's AWESOME!" Then I asked what we had for breakfast, and why Stu was staring at a blank TV? He replied with "I fink we 'ave some cereal 'an some Eggo's maybe. Russ 'll 'ave ta go ta the store soon 'an buy us some more stuff. 'An I dunno, I meant ta turn on the tele, but I just sorta got sidetracked in mu thoughts 'an I just zoned out I guess." I said "Okay", then I poured a bowl of cereal and plopped down next to Stu on the couch while grabbing the remote and turning on Pokémon. Then after I had finished eating, Stu pointed out that Mike wasn't with us. He rarely leaves my sight to go wandering. Then we both looked at each other and said "Sh-t, you don't think, oh, sh-t, no!" We both started running towards the car park and Murdoc's Winnebago. All the way there mumbling "Oh sh-t, oh sh-t, oh sh-t!" Then as we were half way there, all of "Kong" resonated with a "What the bloody Hell is Noodle's f-ing monkey doing in my f-ing Winne!" Then a "Noodle, get yer bloody f-ing monkey out of my Winne right now, or I'll kill you!" Then a "Noodle!" I ran as fast as I could towards Murdoc's Winne. When I got there, I said "Hello and good morning Murdoc-San", in my perkiest voice. He handed Mike over to me and told me to "Never let the bloody thing near my Winne ever again!" I said "Okay" and started to leave. Just as I reached the door, Russel walked in. He was wearing his PJ's and scratching his head, saying "What's with all the commotion and what the Hell happened this morning!?" Stu and I tried to explain but Murdoc kept interrupting with his side of the story. Then once we were finished, Russ just said "Okay, let me get this straight: Mike was with Noodle and 'D watching Pokémon while they ate breakfast. Then he left and 'D noticed, so they came running here. Then Murds started yelling at them and Mike to get him out of the Winne and to never let him near it ever again. Then I showed up, and that's all?" "Yep" was the only answer Murdoc could give, then Stu and I just had these huge awkward grins on our faces and we started to awkwardly laugh. Russ said "Okay, I'll be downstairs eating my breakfast if anyone needs me." Murdoc said "You know where to find me, I'll be in asleep in the Winne catching up on all the lost sleep that bloody f-ing monkey caused me to lose. Please try to be quiet all of ya or I'll kill every single one of ya!" Then he slammed the Winne's door, and Stu, Mike, Russ, and I all went back downstairs. After that, the morning was quite peaceful. Murds got up at 12:00 and we all had lunch, but he made me put Mike in his cage while we ate. He claimed that Mike was going to ruin his meal because he had ruined his morning! After lunch, Damon and Jamie came over to work on some stuff for our new album. Jamie had some great ideas for some music videos, and Damon thought that he should do a duet with Stu because he thought their voices being so similar would work well together. He also thought that I should also sing with him and Stu (on a different song) because our voices are both so unique and different that it would sound cool. We all agreed, then we all realized that _Blur_ and the Gorillaz was huge! Then all of us sat down for dinner at the table, something we did but not pleasantly, and we never fought once! Murds kept eyeing Stu and trying to do his usually harsh routine on Stu, but Jamie and Damon just kept eyeing him to stop. Then after dinner we all played videogames. Then Damon and Jamie went home. A few weeks later, I wanted to take Mike out for a walk and go shopping. Murdoc wouldn't let me. I was yelling because he wouldn't let me go, and he was yelling at me saying "Ya don need ta buy any more clothes, ya 'ave too many now. And takin' Mike 'll be a hassle, NO WAY, NOT EVER, NO!" Then I yelled this "I'm going out and taking Mike, and you can't stop me! You sick, twisted, gross, demonic, Satanist, drunk, bastard, A—hole!" Then he said "No, ya can't go!" Then I grabbed Mike and stormed up to my room, and slammed the door. After about two minutes, Stu came in and plopped down on my bed right next to me. He said "I heard you and Murds fight, sorry he won let ya go. What a ya say, we head out to the geep with Mike and without Murds knowing. We can go to all ya favorite shops if ya want." I agreed, and we headed out. When we got back, we were laughing and carrying like 20 large bags from all of my favorite stores. Mike had one from the pet store wrapped around his tail, and Stu had one from his favorite store. Murdoc heard us come in, and then he saw us. Then Mike and I were running with all my bags towards to my room. Then I heard a loud slap/punch/knock upside the head.


End file.
